Palm Trees
We crossed the border into Florida at night, very tired from driving through winter storms most of the way down. The lights on the state welcome sign were just bright enough to illuminate some ghostly palms. I got so excited. “Palm trees!!!”
I love palm trees. Can’t explain it. I just do. Even the obscure, shadowy shape of them in the dark made me feel so blessed to be able to live in their growing zone for a few months. Our host welcomed us with a big smile and helped us get parked. We had arrived.
The next few months were sometimes eventful, sometimes boring, sometimes challenging, sometimes calming…but through it all very growing. Sometimes you don’t realize you’ve grown until you look back. I think as long as you desire growth you will grow… as long as you are open to change, you will change. You just may not feel like you’re making much progress in any one individual moment.
Our time in Florida this past winter wasn’t everything we were expecting but it was everything we needed. It gave us the opportunity to bond as a couple and to get a lot clearer about the type of life we want to live. A simpler, deeper, more genuine life. A life of pursuit and strategy and a life of deep inner peace. Life here in Indiana is sweeter after our time in Florida.
While we were in Florida, I was looking for a particular video of my brother and couldn’t find it anywhere. That really bothered me as it was one of my favorites. When someone you love has passed away you treasure those little things so much. Thankfully, my sis-in-law was able to find it and send it to me.
What I hadn’t remembered about the video was the song my brother was lip syncing to. It is called “Santa Monica” by Everclear. I watched in a moment of serendipity as my brother mouthed the words, “I just wanna see some palm trees…I will try and shake away this disease…”
There’s just something about palm trees…for both of us I guess.
It wasn’t lost on me that my brother found healing there in Florida too. In fact, we got to visit the mental health clinic he stayed at in person during our trip. Getting to thank the staff and share his story was another step on the healing journey.
The story of Everclear’s song is rather touching. The writer shares how Santa Monica was his safe space. Sometimes he and his friends would swim out into the ocean at night and bob out there and it was like for a while they could just get away from the crazy of the world together.
There’s something about bobbing in the great big, massive ocean that both intimidates and heals. It’s nice to be a part of something that is equal parts untamed and yet dependable. I’m trying to learn to accept the power of the waves under me. To be willing to float on them…rather than fight them. To embrace their power as a healing force. To be attentive to the waves I’m called to ride…to get up on shaky legs and stand confident in the Spirit’s work within me.
Seeing my brother lip syncing to a song that captured so well the phase of life I was in inspired me to put together this video. It's not a fancy video. No amazing cinematography here. Just a real and raw peak into my heart. It’s a highlight reel of our trip mixed with a music video, infused with a little bit of my brother’s soul.
Another thing…I love you James Sallee. Thank you for taking me to my palm trees. You are the best surfing buddy.
